It's Been One Month....

...Since Josh's Passing. I can't believe it, it seems like it was last night when we got the call. We are all adjusting but not because we want to, of course. We will be o.k. but I do worry about Steve, Mindy and Mike. I know they are strong but I can't imagine what they are going through. I know Valentine's Day was rough for them so I can only imagine...I sent a card to them hoping it will get there today...

My kids have their moments. Audrey cries about it almost once a day, sometimes once every other day. Kyle asks a lot of questions about death or has deep conversations about it randomly. Kaden is obsessed with talking about it and when he sleeps with his pillow one way it is "not like Josh", when he puts it on the other side of the bed it is "like Josh, really dead." We have been to the grave site twice since the burial, I think it's good for us to talk to him there.

Kevin and I have been doing things for his brother and family each week. We knew we would need to do more after that first week than during it. So many other people were there for them then. It's our turn to help them get through this first year. We spent many hours making a scrapbook for them with all of the messages we got from anyone and everyone to them and also included positive quotes, pictures of Josh, and copies of the artwork the kids drew for him and put in his casket. We also gave them a c.d. of all the pictures we ever took of Josh throughout the years. Below are some of my favorites.

Josh, when you finally came home from the hospital, I was so ecstatic to actually be able to hold you! You were tiny and incredibly cute!

Josh, your blessing day was very special. It was fun when Kyle was trying to introduce himself to you. You were less than a year apart and you would eventually become great friends!

Josh, it was so fun seeing your Dad with you. He is a great father! He used to throw you around like you were a feather!

Josh, I know you know this, but your mother is the best mom you could have ever had. She gave you so much through her service and teachings to you, and I know she will be able to give to you even more when she sees you again.

Josh, I remember that Easter Sunday when we were having an egghunt and you said forget about it, I'm going to play on the slide!

Josh, it was funny when you were over for Kaden's birthday party and you, your brother and your cousins got in the pack and play so I thought I'd take a picture. You looked at me like a deer in the headlights.

Josh, it was so fun watching Kyle and you getting sprayed with the water by Grandma on the 4th of July. You were laughing hysterically.





Josh, when you and Kaden were trying to find a way into the cookies that day, it was funny too!

Josh, it was really cute when you climbed up on the t.v. tower on Thanksgiving, although your mom had to try not to show a smile when she had to reprimand you!

Josh, you always gave the best hugs and I am so thankful we have this picture of you giving Audrey one of your alltime best. She misses you so much!

Josh, you always made us smile or laugh with how busy you were getting into everything, cribs included.

Josh, I remember the day I took this picture, 3 short weeks before you left this earth. I am so glad I have this shot of you to remember just how you looked the last time I saw you with a mortal body. More importantly, I'm glad I got to see you, visit with you and hug you shortly before you died.

We all love you Josh, Till We Meet...

A long time coming...

I was tagged to do a couple of things by a couple of people a long time ago...

This is the 4th picture in your 4th folder picture "tag."

This is a good picture taken on Thanksgiving 2008 - even though Kaden looks "ticked." Hey, any of you who have more than 2 kids know how hard it is to get a family picture with EVERYONE smiling!

Now for the 4 Random Things "Tag."

4 Random Things I Like About Kevin

1 - He has a passion for politics and has had many well-written letters to the editor published

2 - He is a true handyman and can do so many things around the house

(including building a lot of our own house right now.)

3 - He loves me for me and he writes beautiful poems, cards and letters expressing this love

4 - He is an amazing father and is really there for them in every way but is still the fun "dad"

4 Jobs I've Had

1 - Wegmans Grocery Store - cashier

2 - Response Analysis - conducted phone surveys

3 - Tic Toc Daycare - took care of 2 year olds up to 9 year olds

4 - Center Partners - Qwest Internet Tech Support

4 Movies I've Watched More Than Once

1 - Fiddler On the Roof

2 - Everything Is Illuminated

3 - Three Amigos

4 - Napoleon Dynamite

4 TV Shows I Watch

1 - Imagination Movers (on Playhouse Disney - Uncle Nic Nox CRACKS me up!)

2 - The Office

3 - 30 Rock

4 - American Idol

4 Favorite Foods

1 - Eggs Benedict

2 - Crispy Chicken Salads

3 - Chicken Marsela

4 - Southwest Chicken Sandwiches

4 Places I'd Like to Visit

1 - Hawaii

2 - Germany

3 - France

4 - Bahamas

4 Things I'm Looking Forward to in the Coming Year

1 - Moving into our house

2 - Going on a family vacation

3 - Losing more weight

4 - Taking a dance class or joining a musical

And here's a 25 Random Things "Tag" from facebook.

1.) I could take 2 bubble baths a day if time (and my hair) allowed it.

2.) I have naturally curly hair. Growing up in Rochester, NY in the summer with the humidity, it would turn into ringlets.

3.) With each child I've had my hair has gotten less curly and yet it still takes the better part of an hour to straighten it - with a professional iron - and even if it's short!

4.) I have been told I look like and talk like Drew Barrymore at least 6 times a year every year since I was 3 years old (The year "ET" came out.)

5.) I have always had a passion for singing, dancing and acting and dreamed of doing one or all as a career.

6.) When I was 10 yrs. old I saw "Les Miserables" and soon after got a cassette tape of the musical. I memorized every song and my favorite was "On My Own."

7.) I had a teacher in Elementary School who said ghosts came into her house every now and then and messed up the clothes in her dresser drawers... I believed her for a long time.

8.) In Middle School I was the top gymnast on the team and the girls nicknamed me "Shannon Miller."

9.) My freshman year in Highschool I decided to quit gymnastics and try out for basketball - WHAT? (No I didn't make it.)

10.) Before my sophomore year my Dad's secretary, who was a cheerleading coach, told him to encourage me to try out for the squad. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

11.) I was one of the main tumblers all 3 yrs. I cheered and could do 10 back handsprings in a row followed by a whipback (a back handspring with no hands.)

12.) I've been to Disneyworld twice for Cheerleading Nationals and I've been to Disneyland once (on my honeymoon.)

13.) I went on 3 music competition trips in Highscool for Women's Ensemble and Select Choir - one to Toronto, one to Ocean City and I have NOT been able to remember the other city for many yrs!

14.) I loved Highschool and would do it all over again - I'm glad to catch up with people from it on facebook!

15.) My junior year I was told that I was going to be cast as (one of my all time favorite parts) Leisle in "The Sound of Music." I was devastated when the Music Director decided I couldn't have that big of a part because I'd be at Cheerleading Nationals for a week.

16.) Going to college in Idaho was a culture shock to say the least.

17.) I learned more about life and my Religion and how to live it at college than anything else.

18.) I met my husband at his LDS mission homecoming report. (He went to Germany.)

19.) A month and a half later we were engaged and 4 months after that we were married in the Salt Lake City Temple - we were both 21 yrs. old.

20.) I was "never" going to get married young or to someone I didn't know for at least 1 1/2 yrs. - but WHEN YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

21.) My husband and I have grown up together during our marriage and are strong now because of it.

22.) Kevin is my perfect match - we compliment each other so well. We're different where it's good to be and the same where we need to be.

23.) Kev has influenced me to have a passion for politics.

24.) I always wanted to be a mother and babysitting was always my favorite job.

25.) Being a mother is not "who I am" but it is the most important calling in life I'll ever have.

AND I TAG ANY OR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T GOTTEN AROUND TO ONE OR ALL OF THESE TAGS YET.

In Loving Memory

Joshua Jay Hansen

3/9/2005 - 1/19/2009

Joshua Jay Hansen, 3 ½ year old, of Shelley, Idaho, was born to Steven Jay Hansen and Mindy Lee (Woolstenhulme), on March 9, 2005, with his twin brother, Michael Dean Hansen. Our little Josh was unexpectedly called home to our Heavenly Father’s arms on January 19, 2009.

Josh was our thinker and strong willed little boy. Since he was born he was a fighter! When he and his brother were born early they were given feeding tubes to help them eat. After Josh saw that Mike went home when his tube was out, he wouldn’t leave his in. It seemed as though he was determined to be with our family and came home shortly after.

Josh loved to learn and worked hard at it with the abilities he was given. He had some setbacks because of development and speech delays, but you could always see in his eyes that he was absorbing everything! He loved the ABC song, counting, reading the sight words, and he loved naming the colors. He especially loved blue and orange. We know our boy had so much he wanted to share and say, but couldn’t get it out the way he wanted. Our little Josh loved Christmas time, particularly the song “jiggy bells” (his version of jingle bells) and of course Christmas movies. He would constantly replay them at the table with Mike.

He and Michael were complimentary to one another and loved to take turn acting out different parts of their favorite movies. Josh hated to be separated from Michael. Even when they weren’t playing with one another, Josh noticed when he was gone and would be rearing to go when they were together again. Josh loved playing in the dark with his brother at nap time and bed time. There were several times when their room, mattresses and all, were scattered everywhere. They worked together on so many different adventures and always backed each other up.

Josh is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He was part of the Shelley 4th ward and started to attend Primary and Sunbeams in January. He was always anxious to join the nursery group and would get upset if the leaders left Sacrament meeting without him. He was a big spirit in a tiny body. Everyone he came in contact with knew how much excitement, energy and light Josh had about him.

Josh loved playing with his cars and playing with toy animals. He would rarely go to bed without his elephants and his dinosaur. He loved slides, sledding, swimming, and being swung around in the air. He was a little daredevil who tried whatever he could to get stuck and unstuck. This last year he enjoyed going to the Shelley football games with his dad, brother and Grandpa Hansen. He loved sitting on Grandpa’s lap and looking through the binoculars. Josh loved to sit with Grandpa Woolstenhulme and read books, he loved swinging and learning to be nice to the dog with Grandma Woolstenhulme, He looked forward to the time he got with Grandma Hansen especially when she had snacks and loved to undo the puzzles she was putting together for him. Josh also had a special connection with his aunts Melanie and Stephanie (Bean) who love him very much.

Josh was always full of life and had the smile to prove it. He will be greatly missed, but we know he will in his Heavenly Father’s care. We are and anxious and look forward to the time when we will be with him again.

Josh was preceded in death by two great grandparents, Wilma Joy Madsen Pence of Ashton and Donald Elwood -Walton of Shelley. He is survived by his twin brother and best friend, Michael Dean, parents Mindy Lee (Woolstenhulme) and Steven Jay Hansen, his grandparents Brent and Cheri Woolstenhulme of Idaho Falls and Larry and Susan Hansen of Shelley, Great Grandparents Marion Ellsworth Pence of Ashton, Boyd and Beth Woolstenhulme of Monepelier, Ardis Walton of Shelley, Heber and Dorothy Hansen of Shelley, and many other cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.

Funeral Services will be 11:00 A.M. Saturday January 24, 2009 at the Shelley Fourth Ward Chapel (184 North Park Ave.). The family will receive friends Friday evening from 7:00 till 8:30 P.M. at Nalder Funeral Home (110 West Oak) in Shelley and 9:30 till 10:45 A.M. before the services at the church. Interment will be in the Shelley Hillcrest Cemetery.

Contributions may be made to the Hansen Family Fund at East Idaho Credit Union, 865 South Woodruff, Idaho Falls, Idaho 83401.

DIDN'T STEVE AND MINDY DO A GREAT JOB AT THIS? YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THEM AT THE VIEWING AND AT THE FUNERAL. THEY WERE BOTH AS SOLID AS A ROCK. THEY WERE SO STRONG FOR ALL OF US. AT THE FUNERAL THEY BOTH GAVE AMAZING TALKS. AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN ALL OF US AUNTS AND COUSINS TO JOSH GOT UP TO SING "A CHILD'S PRAYER" - MINDY CAME UP AND SANG TOO. SHE WAS STANDING NEXT TO ME AND SHE SOUNDED AMAZING. I KNOW IN THE QUIET HOURS THEY ARE GOING THROUGH SO MUCH GRIEF AND SORROW BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT HEAVENLY FATHER AND JESUS CHRIST WILL NEVER LEAVE THEM. I'M SO RELIEVED THAT GRAIG AND SHELLI (KIERSTEN'S DAD AND MOM) ARE ABLE TO SUPPORT THEM IN A SPECIAL WAY SINCE THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH THE SAME SADNESS - AND HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE FAITH, HOPE AND HEALING TO SHARE. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS - FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. I LOVE YOU ALL AND DON'T THINK I CAN EVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED AGAIN. THIS IS THE 3RD UNTIMELY DEATH OF A CHILD ON KEVIN'S SIDE IN 6 YEARS AND THEY HAVE ALL BEEN TRIALS - AND YET AT THE SAME TIME, TESTIMONY BUILDERS.

WE WILL MISS OUR NEPHEW AND COUSIN DEARLY

Joshua Jay (Josh) Hansen left this life on earth early this morning on January 19th, 2009 - which happens to be Kevin's 30th Birthday. He is one of Kev's brother's twin sons. He had trouble breathing on Sunday and couldn't get his oxygen stabilized enough to get on a emergency jet to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. . .

He went on to live with his Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ and we know he's in a better place but we are mourning the loss terribly. Audrey is taking it almost as hard as me and Kyle has said things like "Mom, I want to give Mike (Josh's twin) this Valentine toy and I will give Josh this other one for when he is not dead and gets alive again."

Josh was so excited to receive the gift we gave him this Christmas - a helicopter. He melted our hearts with his happiness while playing with it.

I ask for prayers of strength, comfort, faith and hope for the mom, dad and twin brother Mike - seen on the right (who obviously has never known life without Josh) he leaves behind.


Yes I am biased but these guys were the cutest, sweetest and funnest twin boys I've ever been around! (Mike on left, Josh on right.)


I feel honored to have been able to have the blessing of knowing Josh (seen on right) for almost 4 years (he would have shared his birthday on the 9th of March with Mike.)


I know Joshua had a special purpose to come to this earth for such a short time. I have no doubts that he is happy and healthy and will go on to do great work for our Heavenly Father in Heaven.

Josh we will all miss your sparkling personality and true zest for life. We will miss your huge smile and those big, dark blue eyes. We will miss your contagious energy and your amazingly sweet spirit. We will miss your infectious hugs. My kids will miss playing with you and I'll miss watching you enjoy them enjoying you. We will miss you more than words can say.

Disco Fever

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Hansen's Halloween

IT'S BEEN CRAZY AROUND HERE - STOMACH VIRUSES HAVE MADE THEIR WAY THROUGH ALL 5 OF US ONE BY ONE, KEVIN STARTED A NEW JOB (WHICH, BTW, IS AN ANSWER TO MANY PRAYERS AND IS ALSO DREAMS COMING TRUE ) AND THE HOUSE IS GOING TO BE DONE SOON (KEV'S DONE THE PLUMBING AND ELECTRICAL AND NOW HE'S PAINTING AND DOING FLOORING) SO HERE'S SOME "BETTER LATE THAN NEVER" HALLOWEEN PICS!!!

I have to give a shout out to my friend in the ward, Tammy Billman again this year! Last year she taught me how to make some really cute pumpkin stands and this year - a scarecrow. And I can't believe this but I really made and painted that all by myself!!!

I've always taken my kids to storytime at the Library every week since Audrey was less than a year old This year the Idaho Falls Public Library had a Halloween storytime followed by a Parade/Trick or Treating Event.

There were so many people there!

It was very fun for my Woody and cow!

After storytime Kyle always plays on the computer while I read to Kaden and find the books and or c.d.s we'll be checking out that week.

It's always so fun to read books with Kaden at the Library because it's the time he sits and goes through numerous books all the way through. He doesn't always do that at family reading time in the evening - it's hit or miss whether he'll sit through it all.

(Although he's getting a lot better lately!)

When we got home that day I had to get some shots of them in the leaf pile. Way to go Kaden, you got your older brother good in this picture!

Oh and I've got to add that I love the store here in town "Once Upon A Child!" It's a used children's clothes, toys, books and baby gear store. I always start there and get whatever I can before I go retail. I got these costumes there for $4.50 each!

I got to help with Kyle's preschool party on Halloween morning. Audrey didn't have school so she got to come with Kaden and I and she was so excited to see Ms. Krista again. (She was Audrey's preschool teacher too.)

Audrey got to read the ingredients for Ms. Krista to make her traditional "witches brew" that turns her into a frog every year! You know, the usual stuff skeleton boogers (marshmallows), bat's blood (fruit punch), stuff like that!

And here we are - Halloween night - we have one Hermione, one Pirate (the outfit was a Jack Sparrow costume but Kyle doesn't know who that is yet so he said he was Captain Hook) and one Spider!

O.k. so here's two awesome things, number 1 - I got the Pirate and Spider outfit at Once Upon A Child for $4.50 each also!!! The only costume I had to buy retail was Audrey's. Number 2 - my kids are getting a lot better at getting their pictures taken (not all the time, but sometimes) and they're all even posing at the same time in this one.

This was the perfect costume for Audrey - she's been so into reading,watching and playing Harry Potter and I have to add, she looks and acts a bit like the character!

Kyle was going to wear the Woody costume for Halloween and then changed his mind to this one the day before. I thought it looked great. Of course he has to pose by the owl like his big sis. He wants to do everything she does!

It was so cute. We have this Wee Sing for Halloween c.d. and it has a song that goes "crawl, crawl, crawl little spider, Halloween is here. And every time Kaden would put his costume on before and on Halloween he called it his "crawl, crawl, crawl little spider."

This is at the Woodruff 2nd Ward Trunk or Treat. Audrey is here with Natalie and Emily, 2 of a group of 7 girls in the ward that are best buddies. She misses seeing them at school! Luckily she's made some great new friends at school but these girls will always have a special place in her heart.

This is Sam, Natalie's brother. Audrey and him were in Kindergarten together last year and went up to the 1st grade together until Audrey was moved to 2nd grade reading. Audrey writes about him in her journal. Although she has at least two boys at her new school that have told her they love her, she has not moved on and still only has eyes for Sam.

Speaking of Natalie and Sam, here's Kaden with Kera (Sam and Natalie's sister)and their mom, Courtney who is one of my best friends from the ward! Kyle, Kaden and Kera are best buddies and love play dates together!

This is Kaden with my friend Jenny's son, Tyler. They are two of the 16+ adorable little children I get to teach in Nursery every Sunday (I got called a couple months ago and am having a BLAST!)

And here is my other best friend from the ward with her precious doll Grace. Grace is one of those cutie pies I get to care for every Sunday in Nursery and between that and the babysitting trade Kim and I have so we can work in the schools, she has taken a real liking to me. When she sees me she'll demand to be picked up and she'll actually snuggle me for awhile. She is "Baby Grace" to Kaden and he actually pretends to be her a least once a day!

Well Audrey was throwing up soon after the Trunk or Treat - she was only able to Trick or Treat to 3 houses, so she spent the rest of the night vomiting downstairs. The boys didn't want to Trick or Treat anymore, they wanted to hand out the candy and and had a blast doing it!

Although the 2 year old couldn't resist having a treat himself while looking at and touching all that good stuff to be handed out!

In Loving Memory of Kiersten Marie Gemar 7/15/95-10/15/08

This is Kevin's first cousin's oldest daughter.

Kiersten Marie Gemar, our beautiful, sweet daughter and sister, passed away on October 16, 2008 of natural causes in her sleep.

She was 13 years old. She was a precious spirit and will be missed dearly by her family and friends. Kiersten was born on July 15, 1995 to Graig H. Gemar and Shelli Searle Gemar. She was their firstborn child and the oldest of 5 children. She was so responsible for her younger brothers and sisters and always looked out for them. She always had an arm around one or was playing with the other or doing something funny to make them laugh. Kiersten was always happy and it was very rare not to see a smile on her face. Her bubbly personality was catchy and she made friends easily. Even when she was little she was a little social bug and always had to be a part of anything that was going on. She was such a bright light in our home. Kiersten grew up in Shelley, ID until the 6th grade when she moved down to Firth. She adapted so well to the move; it was just another big adventure to her. She was a cheerleader at the Firth Middle School and enjoyed being a part of the squad. Kiersten always had so much enthusiasm and energy and it showed in her cheering. Kiersten was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She loved attending Young Womens and never missed the weekly activities. Kiersten was blessed with many talents. She was a natural performer and loved to be on the stage. Her face would just light up and she would smile so big. She loved to dance and took lessons for 9 years. She was a beautiful pianist; her fingers would glide along the keys and her tenderness showed in her playing. Kiersten was very family oriented and loved to do anything with her family: camping, fishing, swimming, motorbike riding, sharing in holiday traditions, playing games, and cooking for them. She was very selfless and always looked out for other’s needs above her own. She had such a soft spot in her heart for little children and loved her cousins. She never turned down an opportunity to baby-sit because she enjoyed playing with and nurturing the children. Kiersten was a spark of energy. She had such a zest for life. Everything was a big adventure to her and she really lived life to the fullest. We will miss her never ending smile, her sweet personality, and her big, tender heart. We love you Kierst.Kiersten is survived by her parents, brothers and sisters, Jason Graig, Rachel Savannah, Sierra Michelle and Trevor Lloyd all of Firth; grandparents, Joey & Sharon Gardner and Greg & Amy Gemar, great grandparents, Heber & Dorothy Hansen and Wayne Christensen all of Shelley; and Forest & MaryJane Lloyd of Coarsegold, CA, numerous uncles, aunts, and cousins. She was preceded in death by two grandpas; Gerald Searle and S. Graig Lloyd.If you would like to make a contribution to the Gemar family, their extended family has set up a bank account for them. Just go to any Bank of Commerce and tell them that you would like to donate to the account of “Josh Searle in care of Kiersten Gemar”. Thank you. Funeral services will be 11:00 a.m. Monday October 20, 2008 at the Firth Stake Center (823 North 675 East) in Basalt with Bishop Blaine Wilding conducting. The family will receive friends Sunday evening 6:00 till 8:00 p.m. at Nalder Funeral Home (110 West Oak) in Shelley and Monday morning 9:30 till 10:40 a.m. at the church. Burial will be in the Shelley Hillcrest Cemetery.

This is Kiersten holding Audrey when she was a newborn.

When Audrey was born I used to take a picture of EVERYONE that held her. I must have 100 pictures of different friends and family members holding Audrey. I'm so glad I did that because now I have this very special photo.

The viewing, family prayer and funeral on Monday were some the saddest hours of my life. But, I know there is a purpose for everything and I'm sure this beautiful girl's spirit was ready to do other things in Heaven. We will miss her dearly. I will continue to pray for her immediate family for there grief and will appreciate life and what blessings - especially people - we have on this earth even more than before.