Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's Been One Month....

...Since Josh's Passing. I can't believe it, it seems like it was last night when we got the call. We are all adjusting but not because we want to, of course. We will be o.k. but I do worry about Steve, Mindy and Mike. I know they are strong but I can't imagine what they are going through. I know Valentine's Day was rough for them so I can only imagine...I sent a card to them hoping it will get there today...

My kids have their moments. Audrey cries about it almost once a day, sometimes once every other day. Kyle asks a lot of questions about death or has deep conversations about it randomly. Kaden is obsessed with talking about it and when he sleeps with his pillow one way it is "not like Josh", when he puts it on the other side of the bed it is "like Josh, really dead." We have been to the grave site twice since the burial, I think it's good for us to talk to him there.

Kevin and I have been doing things for his brother and family each week. We knew we would need to do more after that first week than during it. So many other people were there for them then. It's our turn to help them get through this first year. We spent many hours making a scrapbook for them with all of the messages we got from anyone and everyone to them and also included positive quotes, pictures of Josh, and copies of the artwork the kids drew for him and put in his casket. We also gave them a c.d. of all the pictures we ever took of Josh throughout the years. Below are some of my favorites.

Josh, when you finally came home from the hospital, I was so ecstatic to actually be able to hold you! You were tiny and incredibly cute!
Josh, your blessing day was very special. It was fun when Kyle was trying to introduce himself to you. You were less than a year apart and you would eventually become great friends!
Josh, it was so fun seeing your Dad with you. He is a great father! He used to throw you around like you were a feather!

Josh, I know you know this, but your mother is the best mom you could have ever had. She gave you so much through her service and teachings to you, and I know she will be able to give to you even more when she sees you again.

Josh, I remember that Easter Sunday when we were having an egghunt and you said forget about it, I'm going to play on the slide!

Josh, it was funny when you were over for Kaden's birthday party and you, your brother and your cousins got in the pack and play so I thought I'd take a picture. You looked at me like a deer in the headlights.

Josh, it was so fun watching Kyle and you getting sprayed with the water by Grandma on the 4th of July. You were laughing hysterically.

Josh, when you and Kaden were trying to find a way into the cookies that day, it was funny too!

Josh, it was really cute when you climbed up on the t.v. tower on Thanksgiving, although your mom had to try not to show a smile when she had to reprimand you!

Josh, you always gave the best hugs and I am so thankful we have this picture of you giving Audrey one of your alltime best. She misses you so much!

Josh, you always made us smile or laugh with how busy you were getting into everything, cribs included.

Josh, I remember the day I took this picture, 3 short weeks before you left this earth. I am so glad I have this shot of you to remember just how you looked the last time I saw you with a mortal body. More importantly, I'm glad I got to see you, visit with you and hug you shortly before you died.
We all love you Josh, Till We Meet...


Dana, Proud mommy to 3 said...

Your post made me cry. It breaks my heart every time I think about this. Still many many prayers for you and your family. Isn't it so nice to have the gospel? Could you imagine thinking that dying was the end? For that we should be grateful. If you can think of anything we can do please let us know! Sending our love and prayers and thoughts!

Anonymous said...

We will miss Josh; it was always fun having his family in our home for birthday parties, etc. The kids always had a good time running around and playing. Mom and Dad