Sunday, May 11, 2008

The Not so Good and the GOOD

This song has really helped me since Thursday. You see, Audrey has SCOLIOSIS - it all happened so fast! A couple of months ago her dance teacher showed it to me - she was the first one to notice it! It's seemed like a whirlwind since then - off to the pediatrician, then to the spine specialist, onto the prosthetist/orthotist and now- since Monday - my baby girl has a brace to wear! You know that awhile ago I mentioned we were going to be getting ready to build a house? Well since then we've been approved by two loan companies for a construction loan only to have them both close down there doors on giving out construction loans weeks after - one for 90 plus days and one indefinitely. The thing is, I wasn't upset - I thought it meant maybe we were supposed to buy a house here in this same neighborhood and be able to stay in this ward and school district I and my family have fallen in love with! You see now that Audrey's going to be in a brace for who knows how long - I thought it'd be great to let her stay with all of the numerous, awesome friends she's made. Some of her best friends being boys who take care of her like you would not believe - who I know would protect her from anyone making fun of her! Plus her (and I) know practically every kid in her grade and many many more in all of the other grades. And to tell you the truth - from helping at the school 1-2 times a week every week, I know that there isn't one child that I've met that doesn't like the girl! Most really adore her! And if she came in with a brace next year, it would just be the Audrey they know and love, but with a brace.

But, buying a house is not what we're supposed to do right now and although I knew it and know it, when Kevin came home and told me the news Thursday night, I have to admit, I was devastated! You see, he told me another loan company qualified us and the contractor wants to break ground on Monday! (Our lot has been secured for quite sometime now.) I should have been happy, but I just cried and cried. It may sound silly but all I could think of was now Audrey will just be known as the girl with the brace. Not one of the new kids she'll meet will have known her without it! It really worried me and after many prayers, many scriptures that I read that really spoke to me about this and with a priesthood blessing, I was able to sleep a couple of hours that night. But, we were going to be getting up very early to go to the temple because we were supposed to sign the papers the next day at lunch. The 5am session was the only time we could go together before then. So at 3:30am when my alarm went off, the song "In Your Arms" by Plumb started. I sat there and listened to it intently for the first time (I've heard it before and loved it but never had a chance to catch all of the words.) I had such a spiritual experience through listening to it - I knew that there was a reason I woke up to that song. I was being comforted in knowing that Audrey, just like any person on this earth, will have trials but she can get through them and I will always be there for her. Also, more importantly, her Savior will also always be there for her, and as long as I keep teaching her that, she'll make it through any roadblock in her life just fine! Well after that we went to the temple and although it was so early, it was one of the best experiences I've had at the temple. I felt complete peace and I knew that we're all going to get through this and even more, come out better for it!

Another thing that has helped me through this is Audrey herself. She has not had any problems with this at all. She was just as excited to get her brace as she was glasses! And when she found out it's not the most comfortable thing- she's persevered. There really hasn't been a bad word uttered. Even if there's an "ow" here and there, she remains upbeat. (She's only wearing it for 2 hours a day so far, tomorrow she gets some pads and eventually it will be up to 23 hours a day with the exception of swimming, dancing and gymnastics - maybe sports to?) And like everyone who knows her has said "if it were to happen to any kid, it might as well be Audrey." You see, I honestly haven't met many children like her in my life. She really is one of the most friendly, social, fun, sweet, kind and loving girls around. (Not to mention the smartest Kindergartner I know.) There really aren't any kids (or grownups for that matter) who wouldn't consider her their friend! My mom has told me a couple of times that"This is not going to change who Audrey is, nothing could do that." And I really need to to remember that - she really does have a VERY special personality and especially where she's so young (and darn cute) any new peers should be able to see that there's more to her than a disability!

So there's been some things that are not so good happening around here, but even during our hard times, we can see the good. I know this will help us all in life somehow and someday we'll know exactly how!

And there are a million good things - if not awesome things happening

1.) Kevin's getting more customers at Teton Toyota and has been doing some great work in the Elders Quorum with the ward.

2.) I started doing Mary Kay classes/parties again and have new customers myself along with a new team member under me (and one wanting to sign up tomorrow.)

3.) Audrey is doing awesome at school - she's met her Accelerated Reading goal for the year (for the 2nd grade reading class she goes to) and was the winner of the talent show tryouts for her class and did awesome performing her solo dance in it. Also, a little sidenote - while at the the SLC temple square visitor center looking and the statue of Christ and hearing the voice speaking His words, she felt the Spirit, had tears and was able to bear her testimony about it at church - one of the most amazing experiences of my life!

4.) Kyle turned 4 and is cuter and smarter than ever. The other day I spelled talk out being secretive about something with Audrey (every day she says "mom can I m-i-s-s n-a-p?" And I said "we'll t-a-l-k later.") and he said "that means talk!"

5.) Speaking of talking Kaden talks all day now - he says anything and everything. He'll say what he wants to say when he wants to and communicate about all kinds of things, and also he will parrot things you say if he knows they'll be cute! Whenever I give the kids a choice on time for example "do you want to take nap now or in five minutes" he always says the latter because he knows it means more time.

6.) And it's Mother's Day and between beautiful flowers, cards, a great homemade egg mcmuffin for breakfast, chocolate covered strawberries and the message my husband signed on his card below, I feel very appreciated today - and that means the world to me!